'They think it's funny'
This footy club malarkey is all a big joke, apparently. But did you hear the one about six scorers, one superstar and a stallion?
Oh, how we laughed
Millions of Disney + subscribers might be gawking in dewy-eyed delight at the on-screen antics of Deadpool and Mac from Always Sunny trying to get their heads around the mechanics of football chairmanship in North Wales, but it’s time for us to accept that the wider football world is not watching this story unfold with quite the same ebullience.
Let’s call a spade a spade: Wrexham are the baddies. At least, to our neighbours - and certain pundits.
Take Alyson Rudd at The Times, for instance. Not even a ringing endorsement of Welcome to Wrexham from the Chief Football Writer at her own newspaper could convince this particular journalist - who appeared on the publication’s podcast this week to talk down our takeover as a waggish dalliance in commercial exploitation.
“[Rob and Ryan] are doing it because they think it’s funny,” sneered the sportswriter, apparently oblivious to the fact that in making this little quip she was committing the same sin she was accusing our owners of.
Here we are, millions of pounds, two years, and one documentary later, and The Lads are still finding it impossible to satisfy certain people that their investment is anything other than a big old shaggy dog story.
Speaking of funny tales, did you hear the one about six scorers, a superstar and a stallion?
It’s a humdinger.
It all starts on a Saturday in Wrexham in October 2021, where nearly 10,000 fans packed into Y Cae Ras to watch Wrexham play Torquay United in what was RR McReynolds’ first live home match.
Also among the crowd that day was suspended Reds’ striker Pele Mullin.
“Believe it or not, I’m actually quite introverted - I don’t like attention,” the forward told his new bosses from the hottest seats in the Cold Road Stand, just as his dynamite song exploded across the terraces.
Nearly one year on, in the exact same fixture, Pele was still the belle of the ball - winning a MotM award (which they should just start handing over to him at kick-off now to save time) in a 6-0 win before turning up at Wrexham General after the game and becoming the most famous man to board a train at Platform 2 since that bloke with a horse back in 2011.
As the 6pm Transport for Wales service lurched out of Wales and whisked Pele back towards his home Kingdom of Merseyside, with the whole carriage serenading their hero right beyond the nasty blue border after another Wrexham win, it just all felt very funny.
Funny what a difference a year makes.
Funny how Pele’s superstar status is as pronounced today as it was this time last year.
Funny how six goals from six different players saw The Reds blitz a flock of Gulls they simply couldn’t handle last autumn.
Funny how we’ve won seven of our opening ten matches and are just a point off the top of the league.
Maybe Rudd was right. We can’t stop laughing.
Into the blue
Close your eyes and try to remember the coldest football match you’ve ever attended.
Perhaps this will conjure up memories of Stoke away in 2015 - where Mark Carrington’s stooping header drowned out the rattle of 5,000 sets of chattering teeth - or of winters stood on the Kop (back when it resembled a grand old stand rather than a haunted house).
As it turns out, our next game involves a visit to one the most notoriously baltic grounds in the country. So thank God it’s only October.
The National League Fixture Gods don’t tend to arrange too many good local away trips for us on weekends, but we can thank our lucky stars they’ve put Oldham (A) on a Saturday before the region turns into a town of igloos and huskies.
It’s been a while since we’ve had the joy of visiting the North Pole of Greater Manchester. But after 17 years above us, Oldham find themselves sharing a division with Wrexham once again - having written some truly miserable history by becoming the first ex-Premier League club to slip out of the FL pyramid entirely.
Unsurprisingly, they seem to be finding their new surroundings as unpleasant as the rest of us.
The silver lining on the dark wintry cloud that hangs heavy over Boundary Park (aka The Theatre of Screams) right now is the fact that Abdallah Lemsagam - whose hobbies include banning supporters and getting teams relegated - has finally been unseated as chairman by charismatic half-man, half-fish Frank Rothwell.
But thus far, new-look, non-league Oldham simply haven’t got going - picking up just three wins. It’s going to take a massive effort to haul themselves back into contention for a first promotion in thirty-one years.
The Latics need a good run now more than ever, and the last team they really want to see turning up next is a free-scoring Wrexham - who have bagged 15 goals in four matches - ride into town backed by a raucous 2,000+ strong Red Army puncturing The Pennines with endless renditions of WE’VE GOT MULLLLIINNNNN!
Both sides are going to play to win, but if we perform like we did last Saturday, it’ll be the Reds who are going home happy.
Just remember to bring a coat.
Great read once again.
Alyson Rudd at The Times can kiss my a*se.