Seeing the funny side
No title. No trophy. But maybe we'll laugh about all this one day?
An embarrassing accident
As a coach packed with Reds veered off the Midlands motorway and into a Welcome Break car park on Sunday morning, the sight of a giant Starbucks seemed to trigger something of a Vietnam flashback in one startled young fan on board, who began recalling an awful accident from his past.
“Hey! I remember this place!” he blurted out.
“This is where I shit myself!”
Wrexham’s current squad will probably react the same way whenever they travel past Wembley in the future.
Their 2022 FA Trophy Final showing was a stinking disaster. And - unlike a service station - there’s no place to hide in a 90,000 capacity stadium. Within seconds of the final whistle, the team’s humiliation was milked and splashed across social media.
They’d bottled it.
This has happened before, of course. Defeat to Bromley was the third successive Wrexham shitshow on British football’s biggest stage. This one was not quite as painful as the play-off defeat to Newport County in 2013. Nor was it quite as ignominious as surrendering a 2-0 lead to village team North Ferriby United in 2015. But it was just as unpleasant - and no less embarrassing.
The timing, too, felt particularly cruel - with our players forced to collect a second set of runners-up medals in the space of a week.
But sadly, it was all we deserved. Despite some raucous scenes in the Boxpark and a belting rendition of the national anthem, the team just never got going. The game itself had all the excitement and passion of a Lads v Dads end of season fixture, with Wrexham looking like kids against the more mature Bromley - whose strong, disciplined approach forced us to fluff our lines whenever we got close to that big scary penalty box.
Usually, when you suffer a ‘I-wish-the-ground-would-swallow-me’ moment, you can react in a couple of different ways. One: Embrace it, laugh at yourself and move on. Two: Stay silent and pretend it never happened. Sadly, in this instance, Wrexham could do neither. To laugh might seem disrespectful to the 25,000 fans who spent hundreds of pounds travelling to London. And attempts to ignore it would be futile, with the rest of the footballing world loudly revelling in the pained faces of our distraught players.
The biggest laugh was reserved for our chairmen - who had packed out their Wembley box with Hollywood royalty, Buddy the Elf and Golden Balls - honking with glee at Jakey Hyde’s disallowed stoppage time equaliser.
Ych a fi. What a day.
Even from the start, there was discontent. Heavy traffic meant that by the time many coaches arrived, the pubs were full - leaving hundreds of Reds resigned to cracking cans on a roundabout.
“You lot will be awwight today,” slurred one passing cockney, eyeing up our Red shirts.
“You’ve got that facking Rob… Reynolds and all that, aintcha?”
It turned out he was a Littlehampton Town fan and had just been at Wembley to watch his team get trounced 3-0 to Newport Pagnell in the FA Vase.
“I don’t care,” he assured us when we offered our commiserations.
“I’m a Liverpool fan really.”
Hmm. He wasn’t the only one.
There was an awful lot of chatter about the Premier League title race around Wembley Way and inside the stadium - with more than a few choosing to watch the top tier finale on their phones rather than the live match unfolding a few yards in front of them.
Maybe if Wrexham had shown some of the never-say-die spirit that has made the second half of the season such a thrill ride, some of the tourists might have clicked their devices shut. But nothing doing. The Town had saved one of their very worst performances for one of the very biggest days, and the surprisingly abject showing has raised a number of questions.
Have their heads gone? Have their legs gone? Or did they just brick it on the national stage?
Parky didn’t seem to have an answer in his post-match presser, but raised the prospect of “anxiousness”, claiming his team were a little bit “too hurried” in the final third.
It sounds like pressure has played a role in our past two performances - which have actually been reminiscent of Stockport County’s unsteady showings at the end of their season.
That isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As Hatters fans have spent the past fortnight constantly reminding us, they turned out to be Champions in spite of their mini wobble. Indeed, just one week before they lifted the National League trophy, County were visibly quivering in North Wales, with sections of their fanbase believing they’d royally screwed it all up. Of course, we all know how it turned out in the end.
Maybe we’ll do the same. Perhaps Wrexham will return to top form on Saturday, triumph in the playoffs, and our nasty accident at Wembley will just be something we can look back on and laugh at.
Of course, a school of fish will be seeking to rub saltwater in our Wembley wounds to ensure that scenario never becomes a reality. Grimsby Town scored an absolutely belting win at Notts County earlier this week after extra-time, and they will be bringing 4x more supporters to Y Cae Ras than they did back in January - with 1,200 semi-final tickets gobbled up so quickly that the hungry Cods want more.
‘Fraid not, fishies. The Racecourse swansong was always going to be a sellout and the home crowd are having a hard enough time getting seats themselves. This is, after all, the last time we’ll see the Reds turn out at home for months.
It’ll be a new season then, but the 2022 Wembley farce won’t be forgotten and will still be raising smiles.
Let’s just hope we’re in a (FL) position to see the funny side.
Good read this mate, commiserations about the Play-Offs too. National League clearly such a difficult league to get out of even in your financial position. Hope you manage to do it next season, you've certainly spent enough time out of the Football League.
Very recently started up a newsletter, so trying to build up a following. If you do give me a sub, I'd greatly appreciate it!