Knock, knock… it’s Elliot Lee!
Saviour of points. Haunter of doorbells. There's a new fan favourite in town.
RR McReynolds were at it again this week - extolling the thrills of non-league football ownership to an audience of millions as they talked up the town on American talkshow Jimmy Kimmel Live.
The Lads were seizing the opportunity to promote Welcome to Wrexham - a docuseries which will broadcast their adventure as fledgling footy chairmen when it goes live in less than two weeks’ time.
It’s still bewildering to watch two members of the Hollywood elite plug our beloved little club to the big wide world. But the most bizarre viewing experience of the past seven days for Wrexham fans actually came much closer to home.
On Saturday, two seemingly well-oiled Reds returned to a gaff in the dead of night and were captured on the camera serenading the smart doorbell with a fresh terrace ditty - their ghostly figures dancing arm in arm.
Their chosen chant was an ode to the man who had - just hours earlier - single-handedly turned an otherwise forgettable Wrexham season curtain-raiser into a match that now might just stand the test of time after all.
After being paired up against a team billed by the bookies as potential relegation fodder, many Reds strutted into Y Cae Ras on Saturday expecting a glorious goal bonanza.
But opponents Southampton Airport FC arrived with strict instructions from Eastleigh traffic control to keep Parky’s Promotion Plane taxiing aimlessly around on the runway rather than letting it take-off.
Our visitors didn’t exactly come to play on opening day, but they certainly came to take some points. Not once did they seem overawed by the raucous capacity crowd hungrily feasting their eyes on their first local footy match since May - and Lee Bradbury’s battling side did everything they could to kill the mood.
Indeed, Eastleigh even had the audacity to take the lead by beating Wrexham at their own game: A Tozer-esque long-throw palmed away by Reds’ debutant goalie Mark Howard with all the convincing power of a sleepy kitten right into the path of an orange shirt.
The groans turned to growls when referee Scott Jackson - already under verbal assault from 9,000 frustrated Reds fans after some puzzling decisions - put himself on the endangered species list by abruptly bringing play to a screeching halt and sprinting Forrest Gump-style back down the field to check up on an Eastleigh player feigning a broken nail in the opposite penalty box.
The away bench scrambled to find their lad a lollipop for his extraordinary bravery, before breathing a sigh of relief as it turned out the player was actually right as rain - leading Jackson to sheepishly bleat the game back into action via a drop ball.
It was an exasperating episode that set the tone for an afternoon of huffing and puffing in the summer heat rewarded with only half-chances. The hour mark crept around and with it came a sharp pang that it might not be our day.
But then, Parky plucked a magic little North-Easterner from his substitutes bench and threw him into the fray.
It’s not often a player gets Man of the Match after playing half an hour, but there was not a single murmur of discontent inside the ground when the name “Elliot Lee!” garbled through the PA system in stoppage time.
From the moment he was dropped into action, Lee was like a shrink-rayed player on a foosball table - merrily dancing around his opponents who seemed practically immobile by comparison.
First, he gracefully met The Billionaire Bulldozer’s beauty of a back-heel to curl into the far corner, before wriggling through a crowded penalty box to tuck home a second.
It was one of the best Wrexham debuts in recent memory - a feat that even earned the plaudits of Alan Shearer.
Lee is surely capable of more game-winning moments as the season wears on. But the big question now is whether he starts this weekend - as the Reds pack their bags and embark on the long trip down to the South West.
Huish Park will be set ablaze in scorching Somerset sunshine for the second round of National League football as Parky’s men aim to make it two wins on the bounce whilst inflicting a second successive defeat on Yeovil.
Despite staging a late rally (inspired by a nice finish from ex-Red Jamie Reckord), Yeovil left themselves with too much to do on opening day and ended up 2-1 losers at Scunthorpe United - who had only won one league match in 2022 before Saturday (a dismal run which sent them crashing into the fifth tier).
The Gloverscast fans’ site described Yeovil’s first outing as the performance of a “shell shocked, undercooked, rabbit-in-the-headlight side who didn’t know if they were coming or going” but that the team did show enough in the second half to suggest there could be “something to be excited about”.
Yeovil sound like a different kettle of fish to Eastleigh. But it doesn’t matter if it’s a goal-fest or a slug-fest. If we wake up on Sunday to more footage of our striker’s name ringing through the footage on smart doorbells, we know it will have turned out ok in the end.
He goes by the name of Elliot Lee…