The John Cleese Cup, drunk-dialling the FA Trophy, and one year of Hollywood
Stadium news soothes the pain after defeat in Fawlty Towers land
The trouble with Torquay
With David Beckham, Jason Bateman and Chris Hadfield all sporting Wrexham clobber nowadays, it’s easy to forget that our most famous supporter once upon a time was Basil Fawlty. If only for a moment.
John Cleese purchased a pair of Wrexham shirts for himself and Jason Watkins in 2017, having learned his co-star on BBC series Hold the Sunset trained with the club as a teenager.
He looks pretty happy in the pic, but has Cleese remained a Loyal Red ever since? Posing this question would probably cause the comedian to tilt back and bark with preposterous laughter (see Harry Enfield’s uncanny impression for an example). But if he is still following us, Cleese might have found himself conflicted last weekend when Wrexham played Torquay. Cheer for the Welsh? Or the town that inspired his classic sitcom Fawlty Towers?
The John Cleese Cup saw nearly 800 members of the Red Army descend on Devon with a spring in their step despite Wrexham’s patchy record at Plainmoor.
Our most enjoyable recent outing here was the FA Trophy semi-final second leg in 2015 - which we won 3-0 to book a spot at Wembley. It was one of those days where everything went right. We gulped down drinks in the club bar with friendly Torquay fans and swapped stories about happier times when we lived side-by-side in the land of milk and honey better known as The Football League. The Gulls were gracious in defeat, too, bidding us good luck for the final before we clambered aboard the coaches for the long trip home.
After that, things started to go wrong. We crawled like a snail up the M5, one whiskey-soaked passenger started blowing chunks into a SPAR carrier bag, and then the bus broke down completely, leaving us temporarily stranded at some half-shuttered services in an anonymous patch of the Midlands.
Torquay fans’ Wembley well-wishing - whilst undoubtedly genuine - was also ineffective, as four weeks later we suffered an ignominious defeat on the big stage to a sports club representing a civil parish of about 4,000 people. The old camaraderie with Gulls supporters has soured a bit, too, with crowd trouble in October’s fixture resulting in 12 banning orders and a new members-only rule for the upper Yale.
In the seven years since that FA Trophy semi win, Wrexham have won just once at Torquay. It is not a very happy hunting ground these days, and Saturday produced the latest in a growing list of wretched results on the south coast - a tame 1-0 defeat that brought an abrupt end to our free-scoring away run and left hundreds of Welshies sulking in their seaside B&Bs.
The absence of Pele Mullin - the Parish doorman’s least favourite Wrexham player - is definitely a blow. But there aren’t many other excuses, and the finger of blame is still pointed squarely at manager Phil Parkinson - who is already being labelled a “dinosaur” at the tender age of 54.
Parky’s soft-yet-serious doctor’s waiting room conduct during interviews never wavers - win, lose or draw - and it was actually difficult to hear his rationale for the loss at Torquay - his grave pitchside analysis drowned out by the sounds of squawking birds, a howling sea breeze, and the scrape of sharpening knives from some restless fans.
It’s going to be a big few months for him.
Our love/hate relationship with the FA Trophy
With The John Cleese Cup all done and dusted for another year, attention turns to a different prize this weekend as Wrexham reluctantly prepare for a fresh round of FA Trophy football.
The twinkling lure of the famous Wembley arch made this competition something to get excited about once upon a time. But after winning one final and losing another, the romance has ebbed and faded. We’ve done it all and we don’t have any interest in doing it again.
Or at least, that’s what we all say at this stage. Our fickle relationship with the FA Trophy will reveal itself if we reach the later rounds, at which point we’ll all proclaim our commitment to the ‘beautiful magic of the cup’ with the cogency of a 4am drunk-dial.
Adding to the appeal is the fact that a cup final would almost certainly involve another blockbuster visit from The Lads, so there’s that.
But there’s a big old banana skin blocking the path to Wembley at the moment, anyway. Whilst the early draw was kind - handing us home ties against minnows Gloucester City and Folkestone Invicta - the next fixture pits Wrexham against Boreham Wood: who are fifth in the league and in the fifth round of the FA Cup after a giant-killing of Bournemouth.
There’s the chance their players could still be nursing the mother of all hangovers after spending a week celebrating that almighty scalp. If not, this one could be tricky.
We’ll see how Parky and our players feel about the FA Trophy come kick-off. As for us fans? We’ll wait until full-time to reveal our true feelings…
Everyone’s an accountant
Isn’t it outrageous? Isn’t it ridiculous? Isn’t it all just so unfair?
How are the Wrexham Hollywood Ryan Reynolds Always Sunny Oil Money Deadpool Dragons allowed to spend £50 million in this division when clubs like, say, Weymouth or Wealdstone - real clubs - have to pay their players - all of whom have to work four other jobs to make a living - from the petty cash jar? It’s a travesty! Football is dead! Boooo Wrexham boooo!
The furious reaction to Wrexham’s recent transfer window splurge was no surprise. But the financial accounting was hyperbolic even by football fans’ hysterical standards. One look at social media would suggest our January Big Shop was as outlandishly and offensively spendthrift as Jeff Bezos booking his mini-break to space, especially given how other clubs beside us “don’t have a pot to piss in”.
As much fun as it might be for the embittered to claim we’re having a Wolf of Wall Street-style cash-splash over here, the reality is far more practical and grounded. The new signings are clearly players who were carefully scouted and targeted as being able to fit into a system - and whilst they certainly didn’t come cheap, they definitely didn’t carry the £1m + price tags being shouted through the angry online grapevine.
As sports reporter Phil Blanche so aptly summarised: “Bit of jealousy around NL of Wrexham’s spending.
“Jeez, if there’s one set of supporters who’ve been through the mill and deserve some success it’s them.”
A whole year of Hollywood
It’s been a whole year since The Lads officially took charge and to mark the anniversary they made two important announcements.
The first was a fresh supply of Aviation G&Ts - which they handed to The Turf to distribute free to fans.
The second was confirmation of their bid to bring The Racecourse stadium back below the umbrella of the football club.
Talks with Wrexham Glyndwr University to purchase the freehold of the Racecourse are now at an “advanced stage” according to our chairmen and look set to be completed by the end of March.
This is likely to breathe fresh life back into the Kop development plans - turning the famous old terrace into something that looks more like a triumphant stand again - and less like a haunted barren space in which Derek Acorah might have gone ghost-hunting back in the day.
Scraps from the fryer…
The capitalist-loving life of Riley
How do you unwind on holiday?
For ex-Wrexham defender Martin Riley, the best way to kick back when you’re abroad is by reading ‘A State of Fear’ and extolling the virtues of capitalism on Twitter by using former club Wrexham as a case study.
There is plenty of debate to be had - and has indeed already happened - about the pros and cons of the fan ownership model. But Riley’s derisive remarks about the system that paid his wages over two separate spells at The Racecourse rubbed some Reds fans the wrong way, especially given how he last played for us so long ago it was practically a different world - one in which Boris Johnson was just ‘that silly minister’ and Leicester City were the reigning Premier League champions.
“It’s all love Wrexham!” Riley protested, hastily changing his Twitter picture to an image of him in a Red Dragons shirt after some verbal sparring.
“I’m genuinely buzzing for you all! You deserve all the success in the world.”
Glad we’re all friends again.
Young to grow old at Wrexham
Every signing in football is a gamble. But as the Luke Young to Wrexham move unfolded, it became clear very quickly we’d got ourselves a good egg.
Torquay were disappointed to lose their midfielder but there was no bitterness - which is something of a rarity in football transfers these days and speaks volumes about Young’s character.
“He has been a model professional,” then-manager Gary Owers commented.
“[Young] deserves the chance to progress his career.”
It’s gone pretty well ever since. Since arriving in North Wales in 2018, Young has won two Wrexham Player of the Season awards and claimed the captain’s armband.
2021/22 has been a bit bumpier - with some wobbly form and captaincy duties split with Ben Tozer (who took the role of ‘Club Captain’ as part of a ‘leadership team’ expansion in the dressing room).
But Young still has a crucial part to play for Wrexham moving forwards.
Last week, the midfielder signed a contract extension until the end of 2022/23 - and he could ultimately be the difference between us mounting a big promotion push or falling away.
Build from the back
Running right alongside the Wrexham player recruitment strategy last month was an equally ambitious backroom raid - with the club signing a Head of Marketing & Communications in Ryan Grant (ex-Blackburn Rovers, Manchester United, and The Football League) and Head of Commercial Andy Duff.
The Wrexham backroom is now bristling with talent, and Les Reed - one-third of a triumvirate of strategic advisers appointed to steer the new era - spoke to The Telegraph last week about how the club was evolving into something modern under RR McReynolds’ custodianship.
Reed made some interesting observations about the future, pointing to the multi-sport models of Red Bull and Ineos as “pathfinders” for a new generation.
“Where I think this is going is that in 10 years time, you will not be able to run a Premier League club as an individual, but part of a group,” he said - comments that led the broadsheet to surmise that “little old Wrexham” could merely be the first step on a mission to build a global network of similarly branded sports teams.
Franchising by its very nature would help RR McReynolds achieve their oft-repeated aim of making Wrexham a “global force”. But it’s also something that has very real potential to divide supporters.
We’re still banging our head against the Football League trapdoor, so to ponder the pros and cons of international sister clubs is pretty pointless at this stage. But if the time comes to have these kinds of conversations, what’s crucial is that the fans continue to have a say.
Some might argue we signed away that right when we officially handed over the reins to RR McReynolds one year ago. But the pair promised this would always be a collaboration. And they’ve been true to their word so far.