Hungry, hungry Reds

The insatiable appetite for success at Wrexham AFC...

Coming to America / Image: Wrexham AFC

Why did Hollywood really buy Wrexham? 

The number of editorial thinkpieces designed around this hackneyed question have become so numerous in the two-and-a-half years since the takeover, trying to tally them up is about as pointless as issuing tactical instructions to Emad Bouanane. You can have a real good go, but you won’t get anywhere. 

Perhaps somewhere in the depths of Ty Pawb, there is a local street artist preparing to print off all these ‘BUT WHY WREXHAM?!’ articles and pile them high in our town centre as a sort of conceptual art exhibit - which would give us a local landmark lanky enough to dwarf St Giles’ Parish Church. But in all likelihood, the pieces are probably destined to teeter in a Jenga tower on the pages of Google for all eternity.

Every sports media outlet you can think of has committed itself to tackling the logic of the Wrexham takeover, attempting to understand why two of Tinseltown’s darlings have dedicated so much time, effort and energy into making good on their promise to turn a (ex-)National League club into “a global force”.

RR McReynolds have answered this question with remarkable eloquence and patience despite having to face it at every single press conference. But it still comes up.  

Why Wrexham? Why did you choose them? Why are you still doing this? Why? Why? Why?

Why Wrexham? We’re out of answers…

Given that no answer our chairmen can give seems to satisfy the media, perhaps reporters are better off looking away from Welcome to Wrexham, Ryan, and Rob for that elusive, perfect quote they’ve been seeking. Perhaps they can find it by watching Mad Men and listening to Jon Hamm instead.

See, there’s a scene in AMC’s period drama series where Hamm’s smooth-talking protagonist Don Draper attempts to poach the business of a company who insist they’re already “happy” with their current agency. 

Draper tells them: “Even though success is a reality, its effects are temporary. You get hungry, even though you've just eaten… You're happy because you're successful, for now. 

“But what is happiness? It's a moment before you need more happiness. You're not happy with anything. You don't want most of it, you want all of it, and I won't stop until you get it.”

If RR McReynolds walked away from Wrexham tomorrow, Reds would still be happy with what they gave us. The Promotion Party. The Victory Parade. The TV cameos for our friends and family. When our time is up, these scenes will rank among our warmest, fondest, lifetime memories. 

But those moments of happiness were exactly that: just moments. Like Draper, RR McReynolds want more success. More happiness. All of it. And they won’t stop until they get it. 

This is why we’re witnessing the relentless growl of the Red Content Monster Truck - piloted by a pair of two men in baseball caps flashing pearly white smiles - on an unstoppable rampage across the sports world; ploughing through social media feeds, barging into broadcast reports, roaring across newspaper pages. 

On one side of the Atlantic, dewy-eyed Americans rushed to snap pictures with Wrexham footballers playing in packed-out arenas. On the other, Reynolds held a sit-down with the UK PM , discussing the prospect of bringing more filmmaking to Wales to boost a struggling economy. (Sunak’s idea of a cost of living crisis is probably having to make Big Shop sacrifices like switching from strong handle bin bags to top ties, or swapping out Lurpak for Clover, but it was worth Ry trying anyway).

In any case, everywhere we go, it’s Wrexham, Wrexham, Wrexham. Homegrown Reds in Coedy, Llay, Rhosddu, Brymbo, Hightown, Caia Park and Gresford are watching it all unfold, eyes bulging in delighted disbelief. But fans supporting teams outside of LL13 don’t get quite the same jolt of satisfaction from these jaunty pre-season scenes materialising 5,000 miles away among the bleachers, where Californians are thumbing through Wrexham Song Books with a Bud Light in one hand and a hot dog in the other.

In fact, they hate it. 

An edited meme of The Inbetweeners and Jay Cartwright’s repetition detector “Beep-bitty-beep-beep! Ooooh time for another Wrexham update!” - is proving itself to be a nice rejoinder for rival supporters to show they’re sick to the back teeth of Wrexham on the news.

The feeling is so strong, the unthinkable has happened: Neutrals might actually be inclined to cheer on the Big Baddies of UK Football on opening day. Our first opponents of the year, MK Dons, are about as popular among the devoted UK footy fan as a half-and-half scarf, but there’ll undoubtedly be a little ripple of approval among the 92 if the Buckinghamshire side dare to ruin our FL return party. 

Funny how things change. Those of us who were at Y Cae Ras the last time we played MK (H) - a January afternoon in 2008 - will remember people rejoicing in our victory. We were the fourth tier whipping boys who toppled the evil league leaders on a pitch that manager Paul Ince lambasted, through salty tears, as an unplayable “cattle field” (a more suitable choice might have been “sheep pen” for maximum effect, but hey, ho). 

Back then, it was tough to envisage a day when we might have achieved the same persona non grata status as Franchise FC. But here we are. 

This week alone, people have responded to the news of Pele’s punctured lung with glee and mocked our inadequate ticketing system, but this schadenfreude has been going on all pre-season. The campaign had only just finished when a fan of Sheffield United - a club that enjoyed a wonderful year and promotion to the Premier League - actually named Blubbering Billy Sharp’s winning strike against Wrexham in the FA Cup as their “moment of the year”. 

Mad. 

Poor Pele…

Any younger supporters or transatlantic converts puzzled by the animosity directed towards Wrexham’s success and exposure should be reminded that a) British culture has a deeply-embedded infatuation with the triumphs of the also-rans - in this instance, clubs without our enviable resource and backing - and b) we were never the most popular kid in Football League school, anyway.

With more local rivalries against bigger teams with louder fanbases up in this part of the pyramid, lots of teams at this level enjoy getting one over Wrexham - and that will still be very much be the case when the tasty reunion matches with Tranmere, Walsall, Crewe, Newport, Stockport and Notts County all roll around.  

It’s going to be a fun year.

When Mission: Promotion was completed in record-breaking fashion in spring, it felt like we’d won a ticket home on an American Airlines flight and had been bumped up to First Class. We’re all so happy to be in League Two. But if Don Draper’s words ring true, happiness is just a moment before we need more happiness. From Saturday 5th August, every match brings a new moment. And that appetite for more success is palpable and insatiable.

RR McReynolds apparently don’t want the trip to stop here. You can’t say they’re not ambitious.

Time to buckle in, Reds. Away we go.

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Out of the frying pan into the flicks: The story of Wrexham AFC’s return to the Football League

22/23 was one of the greatest campaigns in Wrexham AFC history. And now it’s all been immortalised in print.

All Gone Hollywood - the brilliant Wrexham AFC fan account where players and coaching staff are written into Hollywood movies - has published a book featuring all his best work from the year. Writing from last year’s Chips For A Quid sits right alongside the posters.

The first print run of the book has already sold out - but there’s another coming if there’s sufficient interest. Simply drop a message in the comment box below or send an email reply to chipsforaquid@gmail.com if you fancy one. They’re £12 a pop and it’s free delivery if you live within six miles of Y Cae Ras.

For every physical copy purchased, money is raised for Nightingale House.

Free digital editions are also available by contacting andyte@icloud.com.

Thanks for your support.