Get back in your box
Ridiculous prime time viewing.
Baying for blood
The UK’s media regulator has rules designed to prevent distressing content ending up on television screens around the country.
In its bible of broadcasting standards, Ofcom explicitly states that any programming should ensure “adequate protection for members of the public from harmful and/or offensive material”.
Why then, was that horrific footage of Wrexham’s defeat at Southampton permitted to run in its cruel, uncensored form?
Images of the 1-0 scoreline being twisted out of shape in the final six minutes were so harrowing it felt like they severely breached Ofcom guidelines, inflicting a kind of torment on Reds that left us feeling more distressed than a Chester fan who’s accidentally stumbled into The Long Pull.
But the regulator can relax. Reds might have suffered nightmares all week, but viewer complaints won’t be forthcoming. In fact, like most shocking tele, this programme actually proved to be a massive hit. From the moment the season kicked-off at St Mary’s, it was clear that most of the viewing public was baying for Welsh blood. And they would not be left disappointed.
The result led to fans launching aggressive serves of “Get back in your box, Wrexham!” at Reds online, who returned these shots with: “We’re even rattling [insert random team name here]”. There is every chance this verbal tennis match will drag on longer than that famous Wimbledon tie between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut - so you better get used to it or log off from social media entirely if you want to keep your sanity.
It’s mad to think that only a few weeks ago, even the most cynical, full-fat, Hulk-angry Wrexham haters were stood up in front of their teles bashing their hands together, muttering “fair do’s, fair do’s”, as RR McReynolds team did what nobody else had ever done before by sealing three successive promotions. But a new season is here and normality has been restored, with these same supporters delighting in the fact that so many Reds travelled that far to come that close against a team that good… and still leave with nothing.
“Welcome to the Championship! It's just crazy, isn't it?!” guffawed Soton gaffer Will Still in his post-match interview, while a despondent Parky pondered what had gone wrong while trying to find the silver linings.
We have to face up to the fact that this sort of result - snatching defeat from the jaws of victory - is going to happen again this season. Probably on multiple occasions. But the good news is that we’ll do it to a few other teams, as well. Because Will Still is right. This division is indeed “just crazy”.
But then Tuesday came. And it turned out whatever The Championship can do, the Can-You-Remember-The-Sponsor Cup can do better.
The situation looked so desperate against Hull City - with our reserve team 3-1 down in stoppage time - that many of the players on the field probably felt their Wrexham careers had ended prematurely, with few of them expecting much game time in the league this year. But that all changed in an instant when legend-turned-outcast Ollie Palmer decided to write some bafflingly enjoyable redemption arc, coming off the bench to score twice in stoppage time before converting his penalty as part of a flawless shootout that put us in the hat for Round Two at Preston.
Nothing heals heartbreak quite like the appearance of an unlikely hero. And thanks to Ollie, we’re all feeling much better ahead of West Brom’s visit to Y Cae Ras for a lunchtime duel on Saturday: Which marks the day that Championship football comes to Wrexham for the first time in over 40 years.
A dull 1-0 win will be fine. But fat chance we’ll get that up here in these prime time slots. This kind of viewing is unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. And it’s definitely not for the timid.
On to the next episode. We don’t know what the hell is going to happen next. But we can’t turn our eyes away.
COYR.