A bland Wigan kebab
We had an appetite for so much more...
Not much to chew over
Some things in life are certain. And indeed, these shorts-and-t-shirt Wrexham Away Days at the tail end of the season only tend to go one way. Whenever the Red Army puts on its shades and marches on the road out of Wales into the sunshine with a skip in its step, we all know what comes next.
We turn up in our thousands, pack out the pubs, watch a bad game of football, stagger away from the ground, spend hours waiting on rail platforms and motorways, crash home through the front door in the late hours, and find just enough energy to raid the bathroom cupboards for a bottle of aftersun and a packet of paracetamol.
Very little gets done in the town city of Wrexham the day after these games, because we’re all too grumpy, or sunburnt, or hungover, or all three.
Whilst it’s true that those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it, we always turn up anyway and follow the same routine. Wigan (A) was no exception. Reds flocked to meeting points on Saturday morning and greeted each other with a smile and a wink, joking how this was all going to end in tears, but we’d have fun anyway until the footy started.
And so it told. Dancing through the carnival atmosphere on the sun-dappled streets of Wigan, all 4,600 of us managed to forget about the danger that lurked ahead. A warning sign came in the form of a toothless old man rolling a cigarette in the shadows of a bus stop, whose gummy, hiccuped caution - “ya gotta long walk ahead of ya lads” - was the first ominous sign that it was about to go wrong.
The plod to The Brick Community Stadium was indeed a long one and the game was even longer. The Red Army quickly ran out of music to dance to, as a tuneless performance on the field ended with us all stomping down the steps at full-time, cursing a missed opportunity that might come back to bite us. It wasn’t a defeat, but it felt like one. Wycombe’s 90th-minute winner means this promotion race is probably going right down to the wire now.
With police preventing the throng of tired supporters from entering the rail station - perhaps out of fear we might hijack a Northern service and crash it straight into Adams Park to end any chance of Wanderers pinching second place - many Reds took an opportunity to visit the nearby bakery to sample the local delicacy of a Wigan Kebab: A pie stuffed between two slices of bread.
“It’s alright… bit bland. Definitely needs something more,” one fan told me as he chomped through the pastry.
He could have just as easily been talking about the match we’d been to see. The only real bit of flavour all afternoon actually came from the Latics: Maleace Asamoah Jr channelled the spirit of Welsh wingman Gareth Bale with a looping run that forced a vital save from Arthur. It was a lone burst of zest in an insipid main meal.
“Too many sloppy moments” growled Parky in his post-match interview, claiming our opposition for this lunchtime kick-off were “difficult to break down”.
True, Wigan defended well. But at this stage in the year, with the table so tight, a point was still difficult to swallow.
To call Wigan (A) a fun disaster sounds like an oxymoron. But anyone who ventured over to the land of pies last weekend will get it. We know what we sign up for when these gorgeous, local-ish, faux-summer Away Games roll around. Now it’s out of the way, attention turns to Good Friday.
This was already going to be a biggie. Now, it’s massive. For everyone involved. Bristol Rovers come to Y Cae Ras in a fit of panic - with six straight defeats leaving The Pirates clawing and scratching in desperation to avoid sinking to the seabed of the Football League. Neither of us can afford to lose this one. A draw won’t do either. We both have to win. So, the recipe is there for a more tasty affair than the bland Wigan Kebab of a game we forced down on Saturday.
Now that the inevitable setback in the sun is over, there are no more certainties. It’s all up for grabs and we have to go for it. We’re four wins away from playing Championship football next season. What’s a more appetising incentive than that?
COYR.